fertility in this culture is dumb

SO there's TOO EARLY to have a baby- that's the teen moms of the world. call that 16-20 ish, possibly extended later if you are in college.

Practically the best time, though, fertility wise. but dumb from an educational, financial, life perspective.

then there's too LATE to have a baby. 35+ moms worry about diseases, handicapped babies, etc. Never mind that you can probably do it up into early 40s.

So there's the 21-35 that's Okay. but not if you are overweight, ill, in poor financial shape, not ready, trying to get a career going. And what if your marriage ends or you haven't met someone appropriate yet?

I mean, I'm 38 and I want to do it NOW. I have a fear that I won't be able to if I don't do it NOW.

And I wish there had been a way to understand that time does run out. It sucks.

ok its been a while

but I'm still here.

we might move to texas for a job for my husband, helping to grow and teach at a teeny private school. the only think is there's not much money.

I worry about no money/not much health insurance.

I feel like our time is running out.

and I would be main breadwinner in that case, so what about maternity leave?

Weirdness. Life's taking a weird turn.

aargh!

ok. my husband is a new teacher. he comes home every day talking about how he isn't sure he wants to be a teacher.

well, honey, if you change jobs again it's going to be MORE TIME before I can have a baby. I'm sensitive. I'm nice. I'm supportive.

Sometimes I want to scream.
Wow, I really can't let him see this blog, can I? That stinks.

We don't have that kind of time.
I am in grocery stores looking at toddlers and preschoolers like they are candy.

AM I insane?

I don't think so.

This really seems to be a biological imperative, because I'm bloody obsessed.

another friend of mine is having a second kid. jealous jealous.

Plus Size Pregnancy

I am delighted to have found a pregnancy website about plus size pregnancy. I'm not small (size 18 petite) and I worry about my weight and pregnancy a lot.

http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/

it's really an empowering site.

don't know how to do this.

more wonderful babies

I just got back in touch with an old friend who left my job to go elsewhere. He's part of a long-term gay couple, younger than I am, and his biological daddy clock's been going off for a while.

He and his lovely husband have adopted a baby and he's going back to work after 3 months of paternity leave.

Yay, she's adorable!

I Want One!

My uterus is rusting!

I wish

That the person wailing in my apartment wasn't the cat.